JUMP FOR JOY
At Beacon we are advocates of sustainable happiness, even in the face of short-term setbacks. We are in this for the long haul.
However, here’s what we see all too often: fear of the other shoe dropping.
Let us explain: When clients enjoy a stretch of serenity, they mar their joy by waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Just as clients find their stride, we notice they binge, gain weight and have an uptick in preoccupation with food. They think, “I always fail at this. I will never change.” It is a self-defeating attitude. When we convince ourselves that disaster will happen, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But at Beacon, we see through this pattern and work hard to help you quash it.
You are stronger than that old thought. We remind clients all the time, if the other shoe drops, it doesn’t have to fall on your head. You can skillfully handle hard things. You can handle the joys and the sorrows of life without using food to cope.
According to vulnerability researcher Brené Brown, it is common for people to disrupt their own joy by imagining a worst-case scenario. She asks an important question, “Why do we insist on dress-rehearsing tragedy in moments of deep joy? Because joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel.” She studies scary emotions for a living—anger, shame and self-loathing. After decades of research, she has determined that the most terrifying human experience is joy. That’s right, JOY. She says we set ourselves up for a sucker punch.
But you can quit this pattern of thinking. You can break the belief that you cannot manage the pitfalls and joys of life without using food to cope. The belief that shoes will fall from the sky is superstitious. It is old thinking.
Let this be the beginning of holding onto peace of mind and a life that has the capacity for joy—and the capacity to handle whatever comes your way maybe for the rest of your long life.
So go ahead and flirt with this concept. Take it out to dinner. Take it to the beach or to the new job. Say yes to that party invitation or dance class. Trust yourself. And trust us too. There is plenty of time for sustained happiness.
Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash